With the senseless killing
of Trayvon Martin, we once again find ourselves mourning a young Black
spirit taken from us far too soon. As survivors, we are charged with
honoring Martin and the countless others we've lost by standing strong,
supporting one another and taking time to consider both our individual
well-being and the collective well-being of our community.
At every turn
in our lives, we learn that no matter our credentials, we are often
treated as "less than" our White counterparts. Taught that we have to
be twice as good to get comparable compensation. Treated as if we are
at once both invisible and highly conspicuous-ignored when we are in
need and profiled when we are simply proceeding. That a self-appointed
neighborhood patrolman targeted Martin because he looked "suspicious"
speaks volumes about the experiences we have in communities across the
country each and every day.
The trauma of racism is accompanied by
post-traumatic stress disorder for many and a great, hidden sense of
pain for most. For those who have been following the events that
occurred after the killing of Trayvon Martin last year, this weekend's
not guilty verdict has been particularly soul crushing-bringing all
that pain, that
Black pain,
to
the surface.So how do we address our heartbreak? Here are some
practices/steps we can all take in the service of
our individual and collective healing.
1) Look Away:
You may need to take a break from the
TV/radio/Internet/newspaper in order to protect yourself. The Zimmerman
verdict will undoubtedly dominate the airwaves for the foreseeable
future; taking a pause from the 24-hour-news cycle does not mean that
you are less vested in justice for Trayvon-but it may be critical for
your self-care.
2) Write About It:
Start to keep a journal-pour your heart,
feelings, emotions into it. Include powerful quotes, clippings from
magazines and even pictures that help you express the range of your
feelings, including anger. Read a blog post that summed up your
feelings about Trayvon better than you can? Print out a copy and include
it in your journal.
3) Let Your Feelings Out:
Unspoken grief and pain are toxic to our
bodies and minds. They keep us from being our best selves. Men, women
and children should all feel safe shedding tears when they come-and the
senseless murder of a teen is certainly worth crying over.
4) Seek Help: Consider reaching out to a professional counselor or therapist to help you process what you feel. There is
no shame
in getting help. I find that therapy is the
gift that keeps on giving. It helps me to clarify my thoughts and
process heartbreaking situations like this. Counseling can be a
necessary lifeline. We cannot be or breathe properly if we don't
release the unresolved pain, wounds, scars and trauma of our
childhoods. We cannot be all that God has called us to be.
The trauma of racism is accompanied by post-traumatic stress disorder for many and a great, hidden sense of pain for most.
5) Redefine "Strength":
We often confuse being "strong" with being
silent. True strength lies in knowing when to ask for help, when to let
the tears flow, when you are overwhelmed. The death of Trayvon Martin
is one that has taken a great toll on our collective psyches... no time
for silence. Be strong enough to be proactive in healing your heart as
you work to seek justice.
6) Get Moving:
Go to the gym or for a
run/walk. Exercise releases tension and helps turn frustration into
feeling constructive. A friend of mine just walked 10 miles to process
her emotions about Trayvon. She left her house feeling angry and
returned feeling renewed and resolved.
7) Shake a Hand, Make a Friend:
Make eye contact with someone passing by,
smile and say "hello"... you may be the first person who made such a
gesture towards them today. Many of us are walking around in need of
love, support and communion with our fellow man and tragedies make that
even more critical.
8) Give Back:
Honor Trayvon's memory by committing a few
hours a week to volunteer with teens in your neighborhood. Affirm the
worth of the young people in your community and let them know that they
are valuable, loved and supported.
9) Fight the Power:
Channel your rage and anguish over the
verdict effectively and get involved with local/national efforts to
fight for justice for Trayvon Martin. Participating in rallies/protests
will allow you to connect with others who are feeling the same way as
you, but don't stop there. If you aren't already, get politically
engaged! Hold politicians accountable and help your friends/family do
the same.
10) Say "I Love You":
Tomorrow is never promised and there are two
grieving parents in the spotlight who will never have the chance to
put their arms around their beloved son again. In the midst of our
anguish over the loss of a child most of us never met, we must remember
to show love to the people in our lives right now, while we can.
Terrie M. Williams
|