4.14.2014

Ruby Love Dulan, Beloved Mother of Gloria Dulan-Wilson, Makes Her Transition to the Ancestor/Angels

By Gloria Dulan-Wilson

It is with a great deal of sadness that I announce the transition of my mother, Ruby Love Dulan, from this plane of action to that of Ancestor/Angel - as of today, April 14, 2014. I just received the call from my brother Syl, that she passed on peacefully, thank God, after some difficulty breathing.

Mom Ruby Love Dulan at age 90 (Feb. 22, 2013)

To say that I'm not taking this well at all is an understatement and a half - I'm not taking it well at all - with all my metaphysical studies, you are still never, ever prepared for the final exit. 

Birthday Cake from Mom Ruby Love's 90th Birthday Blowout February 22, 2013

And since she made it to age 91, I realize that if Mother left, it was because she was definitely ready to go. She had faced death twice - dealing with ignorant doctors, but she managed to have a good life despite diabetes and dialysis. She laughed, joked, went out to brunch, with my brothers and her friends; kept up with all of us kids regardless of where we were in the world or what we were doing. She made sure we all went to college, and had what we needed beyond that as well.

Mom and My Daughter Kira - Her First Granddaughter
 
Rais E. Wilson - Her First Grandson


Right to left: Seated My Sister, Brenda Dulan-Moore and Mother, Ruby Love Dulan (2nd frm Rt) and 
Two Oklahoma Neighbors; Standing Right to Left:  My Daughters, Adiya S.I. Wilson & Kira Harrell; 
Me - Gloria Dulan-Wilson; and Nieces Sherrie Moore and Shalayne Dulan at Nephews Wedding 2012.


 She loved all her grandchildren and never forgot anybody's birthday - regardless of when they came on scene. She always made sure she sent a card and/or a gift. Something thoughtful and cheery - Mom had excellent taste.

Her favorite things in the world were the TV Show: "Keeping Up Appearances" (PBS) and "Tom and Jerry" and "Heckle and Jeckle" cartoons; her favorite artists were Michael Jackson, Billy Eckstine, Aretha Franklin, Nat King Cole; pecans, popcorn and peanut butter (so now everyone knows where I got that habit from)  among others.   She was also clairvoyant - something that used to keep us kids on our toes - you just couldn't fool Mom.  She truly had intuition - I literally had to ask her to not tel me about dreams she had about me unless it was seeing me with millions of dollars - because they used to be eerily accurate.  There are times when I think I've inherited that gift from her as well.

Mother was my rock. I was so blessed and fortunate to have been raised by a woman who did not know the meaning of "no" or "quit" or "can't." They were not part of her or our vocabulary. Mother was one of the first Black women to work at the Federal Post Office in Oklahoma City - which didn't come about until the 60's.  When they wouldn't teach her how to throw the mail to pass the test as mail sorter, she made her own mock up and practiced tossing the mail until she could do it in her sleep - then went in and proceeded to ace the test and be one of the first hired in the position where she remained for 37 years.  It taught us kids, who watched her while she practiced and prepared for that test, to never say
"never." 

My Mom, Ruby Love, who was of African and Cherokee heritage, was one of the most beautiful, graceful, fashionable and accomplished women in the world - all the way through her senior years. From her I learned to cook, sew, design, keep house (make home) - unfortunately, the Aries side of me never learned how to keep quiet - something she was always trying to instill in me - up to the last. Even when she was p.o'd , about something she was cool as a cucumber (which was the Pisces' way).  It took me a while to learn how to do that one. 

Funny, on Friday, April 11th, I was covering President Obama at the plenary session of the National Action Network, and had actually thought about calling my Mom from there to tell her that I was in the same room with President Obama.  I knew she would be so proud because she really loved the President and First Lady.  I had saved my press permit from the White House to send to her as a souvenir - the same way I had brought stuff home for her when I covered the Democratic National Convention in Denver in 2008.  She kept most of the stuff I sent her no matter how banal - from the photo of me interviewing Stevie Wonder to an old clipping of a promo I did in the LA Times.  Now I wish I had followed that impulse. 

Our last conversation a week ago was in reference to the progress in healing my knees - which was a big concern for her. We joked about my dancing and the fact that that would be the first thing I would do once they were healed - dance myself silly. Mother loved to dance as well and it was passed on to me.
Mom was the youngest and the last of her family line of six girls and one son born of Enoch and Cornelia (Hornbeak) Gaines. She is likely reunited with them now. At least I'd like to think so.

My sister, Brenda in Chicago, as well as my Brothers, Warner, Jr., and Sylvester, both of whom are in Oklahoma City, all have large chunks of her personality and DNA, which complement the wonderful genes we received from our dad, Warner Sr., - who made his transition in 1987.

She's finally reunited with her fine Black man and the love of her life at last. They can resume their 47 year love affair once again - they met and married on the same day they met - and raised us four wild and crazy kids - with love, discipline, creativity, and inspiration - and a great deal of patience (and I daresay a great deal of amusement as well - we were definitely a handful).

They were certainly a beautiful couple - loving and loyal to each other all their lives. They made love, marriage and happiness look easy. They had each other's back no matter what - even through the lean years when things were tight for a family of six - Mom and Dad maintained that solid love that people often romance about, but can't seem to actualize. There was a fineness about it that we all hoped we would one day experience in our own lives. We loved watching our parents interact with each other. And it's wonderful to know that Ruby and Warner Dulan will once again be reunited for eternity - and this time not even death can keep them apart.

I will definitely miss my Mom Ruby Love - my mom had tiny feet, but left big footprints to follow. I've still got a lot of growing to do to fill them. I am definitely working on being worthy.

Love you Mom -  Say "Hello" to Daddy and everybody else and let them know how much I love and remember them all.  Enjoy a beautiful eternity of love, happiness, peace, and joy. 

Stay Blessed
Your Number One Kid
Gloria Jeanne

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