Tried to send this before, but I guess it didn't go along with the email - things are getting waaaaaay too technical when one can't just do a simple forward anymore.I received this a few years ao from my dear friend Jack Dawkins, who just made his transition to Ancestor/Angel on November 30. Jack and I were insanity buddies and would send some of the zaniest jokes via email. This is one of many - tongue in cheek!
I had told our classmates and friends from Lincoln U that I would be sharing some of his emails from time to time, and thought this would be hilarious to share. But when I opened my own copy, it was totally blank - sooooooooo......
Not to be outdone, I individually copied it this time, line for line, to make sure you received it. That'll teach technology not to mess with me. Right?
But it's 3:30 AM, now, and it took me so long to do this, that I'm taking a nap -
I'll send it to you in the morning. You'll probably enjoy it just as much then.LOL!!STAY BLESSEDGloriaMen are just happierWhat do you expect from such simple creatures?Your last name stays put.The garage is all yours.Wedding plans take care of themselves.Chocolate is just another snack.You can be President.You can never be pregnant.You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.You can wear NO shirt to a water park.Car mechanics tell you the truth.You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.Same work, more pay.Wrinkles add character.Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.One mood all the time.Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.You know stuff about tanks.A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.You can open all your own jars.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..Everything on your face stays its original color.The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.You only have to shave your face and neck.You can play with toys all your life.One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relativesOn December 24 in 25 minutes.No wonder men are happier.Send this to the women who can handle itAnd to the men who will enjoy reading it.______________________________
_____Men Are Just Happier PeopleNICKNAMES· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .EATING OUT· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.MONEY· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.BATHROOMS· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.ARGUMENTS· A woman has the last word in any argument.· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.FUTURE· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.SUCCESS· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.MARRIAGE· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.DRESSING UP· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.NATURAL· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.NATURAL· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.OFFSPRING· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.THOUGHT FOR THE DAYA married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ....
and to the men who will enjoy reading it
Now that you know - what are you going to do about it?
Keep loving them for who and what they are -
Stay Blessed &
Oh Yes, Happy New Year Again