Hello All
Happy Mother's Day to all my sister/mom/friends who have the privilege of being a mother. This is for all Moms past, present and future.
MAY 10 MOTHER'S DAY -
HAPPY
MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MY SISTER/MOMS, MY PARTNER MOMS, MY FRIENDS WHO
WANNA BE MOMS - AND TO MY MOTHER RUBY LOVE DULAN, WHO HAS JOINED MY ANCESTOR/ANGEL GRANDMOTHERS -
CORNELIA HORNBEAK-GAINES, AND ZADY WASHINGTON-DULAN,
WHO ARE THERE WITH HER WATCHING OVER ME -
CORNELIA HORNBEAK-GAINES, AND ZADY WASHINGTON-DULAN,
WHO ARE THERE WITH HER WATCHING OVER ME -
TO
ALL THE MOMS THE WORLD OVER WHO DID THE RIGHT THING AND LOVED THEIR
CHILDREN TO LIFE AND SUCCESS -
STAY BLESSED &
ECLECTICALLY BLACK
STAY BLESSED &
ECLECTICALLY BLACK
-
and to me, a proud Mom, and my daughter Kira and daughter-in-law Traci,
two Moms of whom I'm very proud - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
While others may look upon Mothers' Day as just a day to bring flowers and other gifts, there is so much more to it than that :
No one comes into this world without a mother.
No One!
Motherhood, though, is not just about birth, true motherhood goes to the deepest level of heart, soul and mind. Mothers put their children and families first (despite the so-called modern pressure to do otherwise); mothers willingly and lovingly make the sacrifices without anger, rancor, complaint - it's all about love.
So this salute is to all those Moms who get it! Those moms who have loved, nourished, nurtured, guided, advised, disciplined, commiserated, and provided for their offspring, come rain, shine, hell or high water; good, bad, fat, skinny, wealthy, poor, regardless of sickness or health - mothers who were there through thick and thin - 24/7/365 - day in - day out!
It's a job for which you bring all your skills (or not), wisdom, knowledge and understanding - things you never even knew you knew! Where you have to be on point and on the job no matter what the heck else is going on in the world - be it career, education, party - There's no "OFF" switch to Motherhood; you're always on.
No matter what your station in life happens to be! It's not just enough to give birth - you are responsible for an entire life for the next 18 (or 21) years. What you say, do, think and are matters and has a powerful and profound lifelong influence on that wonderful little bundle of joy, regardless of whether it's a daughter or a son. They are absorbing your energy, learning from your actions, matching your mood, conversation - little sponges who will someday themselves become Moms (or dads) - learning from us, the mothers of the world.
We know that we are still held responsible for the behavior of our children - how many times do you hear someone say a particular child has "no home training?" Or how many times have you looked at a mother whose child was acting out and rolled your eyes; or resisted the temptation of getting up on going over to correct the child yourself, because it was clear the mother didn't know (or care) any better.
Mothers are the first teachers - no matter how many nannies or grannies you have in your life. It's why they say "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." You can raise geniuses and leaders or rotten tots and despots. And having other care givers doesn't release you from the responsibility of being a Mom - in fact you're then doubly responsible for making sure they're doing the right thing!
I always brag on my Mom Ruby Love Dulan who made her transition last year just a month before Mother's Day of 2014. I remember most of what she tried to teach me - and it was by no means sitting at her knee, in a cute little pristine white pinafore dress - nope! I was the family tomboy - you generally found me hanging upside down from a tree, jumping off the roof of the house, making mud pies, playing with slingshots, etc. I was "hardheaded." I do believe the reason I remember so much of what my mom taught me was the combination of behind whippings coupled with long lectures, with a side of loss of privileges for good measure; of course in between all that were the hugs. My sister, Brenda, on the other hand, was the kid you only had to say it once, and she got it (probably after seeing me get into trouble and she wanted none of that).
My mom was a fabulous cook, home maker, and, though she never went to college - a great educator. She made it known that getting a good education was a non-negotiable item. We had to go to the library every Saturday, after chores, no matter what. We had to bring home at least two books to read - me, the family book worm, I always brought home four or five - and then went to Aladins Books (a used book store, and bought three more for good measure). We had to tell her what we read and why we liked a particular book.
As a kid on the farm my mom had chores. Consequently, when we were coming up, Brenda and I had chores as well - you'd always hear the saying "Idle hands are the devil's workshop," so we had to learn how to cook, keep the house clean, rake the yard, do laundry, etc. Now, I will admit that I am the world's worst housekeeper, but I'm also one of the better cooks in a family where everybody's an excellent cook. So when my brood came along, they had chores as well, and inculcated in them the same love of books, knowledge of cooking, food and nutrition was passed on to them. I can remember, when we lived in California, driving across town to get to the closest library to make sure my children fell in love with books, research and knowledge the way I was raised.
Make no mistake about it- when my own three came along - Kira, Rais, & Adiya - I was/am the original bragging parent. I had learned all the things to do and not do from my Mom, plus what I learned from my Grandmothers, Aunts, and studying African cultural tradition in college. Most of us moms brag about our kids - it's a natural condition. We can't help it -as they grow, we glow. I know I spent so much time talking about their accomplishments - but I was/ am so proud of them - they're my contribution to society - and now they're making theirs!
My Kids now have kids of their own - and they're doing a great job of applying what they learned from me plus their own contemporary cultural skills as well. My daughter, Kira, often tells me about her latest conversation with her son's teacher - I was a stickler for good teachers in an age when education was being dumbed down - she now understands why I was so vigilant - of course the other side of the coin was instilling in them a love of education, the written word, proper English - even if you knew all the slang (we're still bourgie thank God - I make sure it continues to run in the family); good manners, etc.
We are all hybrid versions of our mothers, grandmothers, and greatgrand mothers - in the Black community we are that plus the cultural overlay or subtext of our African traditions which have never really ever been destroyed and remain part of our DNA. As Moms we have the privilege to kiss the boo-boos and make them all better; we get to hold them, rock them and sing their favorite lullabies, we get to tickle them to get them out of gloom and praise them for all the wonderful attempts they make at something new; we never get tired of the look of wonderment when they make a new discovery; or that immense sense of love and pride when they make, do, or say something - doesn't have to be Unique - it's just their expression - it hits us deep in our hearts - you feel the tears well up; you get that tingle - and you know why God made Motherhood so special.
So HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MY SISTER/MOM/FRIENDS -
We know how truly deep and wonderful a privilege it is to be a mother.
MOTHER'S LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES WHATSOEVER! AND TO ALL OUR CHILDREN, THANK YOU FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF LETTING US BE YOUR MOMS!!
STAY BLESSED &
ECLECTICALLY BLACK
GLORIA DULAN-WILSON - MOM OF KIRA, RAIS AND ADIYA
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