By Gloria Dulan-Wilson
Hello All:
I originally wrote this tribute to my Paternal Grandmom, Zady DULAN, 10 years ago, in 2014!! Her firewalker spirit has been talking tor me for the past couple of weeks - quietly at first (as was her way), then much more insistent over the past couple of days. So I felt compelled to republish it, with some new insights:
Today, December 13 is my Grandmother Zady Dulan's birthday. She was a beautiful deep dark semi-sweet chocolate complexioned Black woman of Muscogee (Creek) Nation heritage. However - unlike most Sagittarians - she was very quiet, most likely owing to her Creek Indian heritage, where women are very obsequious, and beautiful.
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| GRANDMOM ZADY DULAN |
Her trait of quietness was passed down to my Dad, Warner Dulan, Sr., as well as my sister Brenda, brother Warner, Jr., my Aunt Zethel, and her brother, Uncle Booker. They could all be in the same room, and it would be totally quiet - with them never, or rarely, speaking.
Wouldn't you know that the love of her life was this ebullient, loquacious fine Black man who talked incessantly - told tall tales, loved to pontiicate and give advice - i.e. my Grandfather, the family Patriarch, Silas S. Dulan I. The result was that my Uncle Adolf Dulan and Aunt Alene took after my Granddaddy; as well as myself, my brother Syl, and my cousin Major . My aunt Mary Dulan - Adolf's wife, observed that you could put the four of us in a room of 1000 strangers, and each of us would know at least 250 of them by the end of the evening. The truth is that we could talk you under the table, if you let us.
While Grandmom Zady might have been quiet, she was never idle. She could cook like anything - and had an old treadle sewing machine that she used to use to make the clothes for my dad, aunts and uncle Adolf Dulan (of Dulan's King of Soul Food in Los Angeles, CA), and all 15 of Grandaddy's siblings who were orphaned when my
My Grandfather, Silas Dulan talked enough for the both of them. He could, and often did talk you under a table. I'm sure they were perfect for each other - she smiled at everything he said, and would make soft remarks in response to his statements. They were very happy together; they never argued, but loved each other immensely. They were married for over 50 years, having married when he was 16 and she was 15. Black then you could do that - because our people were raised early on to handle responsibility. Together they raised their four children, and 14 of grandfather's brothers and sisters, who were orphaned when racist, rednecked, white marauders out of Missouri came riding through and murdered my great granddad - Ben DULAN - who had escaped from them and moved his family into Oklahoma Territory for safety. His wife , my greatgrandmother Anna, committed suicide, leaving the responsibility of raising their children to my grandaddy, who was the eldest at the time.
The sod and clapboard house had no indoor plumbing; they had an outhouse, and a shed for the school bus Grandaddy drove. Granddaddy was a dairy farmer, but he also raised the best watermelons in Oklahoma!! Grandmom Zady helped him pick and grade the watermelons for sweetness and freshness - Granddaddy sold them off the back of his truck!
There was a creek down back of the house, and a root cellar that she dug so she could cure her herbs, and put up her canned fruit and vegetables. There was this big windmill that was used to bring the best tasting ice cold water up from the ground; and she used to draw the water, heat it up and then bathe us kids in this big galvanized tub - using Ivory Soap.
I loved hanging out there in Luther, Oklahoma and helping her get the eggs from the chickens, plant her garden, and eating those fantastic preserves she'd make - especially on top of the freshly home made biscuits. But my absolute favorite Grandmom Zady dish was succotash! She had a way of preparing it that I have not been able to duplicate. Oops! I forgot to mention that she also made the best ice cream on the planet - using a wooden bucket with a hand crank.
Quiet
as she was, Grandmom Zady was truly the Matriarch of the DULAN family, of which my
granddad was the absolute patriarch. She didn't take no mess! When she told you to do something, you'd better had done it - or the consequences would be serious - even to sending you to get a switch to get your righteous behind whipping. She was a stickler for order. My aunts were total ladies, very accomplished, very well read; my dad and uncle were gentlemen and very well read. There was an order to everything they did - and Grandmom didn't take any excuses. No half stepping in that house.
Her cooking was legendary!! I remember her cooking mile high biscuits, home made syrup, home made ice cream, churning home made REAL BUTTER, fresh cream; fresh pop corn popped on top of the pot belly stove! I remember the kerosene lamps and soft lights. She used to chop wood and fire up that old wood burning stove and make magic. There was a long plank table, and we all sat around it waiting for the food to be served. I could hardly wait - I loved her cooking. It was her cooking that inspired my Uncle Adolf DULAN to start his soul food restaurant, Aunt Kizzy's Back Porch, and later DULAN's King of Soul food. We had real cornbread - not that stuff that's almost as sweet as and had the consistency of cake - and enough food to feed an army.
It was almost a sin to not know how to cook in the DULAN family. Grandmom Zady's cooking was all my uncle, Adolf, though of while he was in Korea. When he came back he had an idea the back of his head (or in his heart) to one day start a restaurant - or a cook book - featuring all the food he grew up with. Everyone in the DULAN family learned how to cook on that green enamel woodburning stove, with the cast iron hobs, the warming oven, and the overhang shelf for spices and utensils. We were taught that you could have the fanciest kitchen in the world, with all the modern conveniences, but that did not make you a good cook. My grandmom Zady - like so many Beautiful Black Women of her day - made magic with nothing more than a cast iron skilet, a sharp knife, a wooden spoon, fresh food from the garden; and fresh meat (chicken, beef, lamb, or whatever) and prepare a feast most gourmets couldn't touch!
Like most members of my family (on both sides, by the way) I love to cook! And I'm a great epicurean soul food cook (i.e no pork), but I confess, my biscuits are atrocious - and my Grandmom would agree. She and Mom, and my Home Economic teacher tried to teach me how to make biscuits from scratch - but I never got the hang of it. It always blew my mind how she could make the perfect Angel Food Cake, Lemon Merengue Pie, succulent turkey, fried chicken, collard, mustard and turnip greens, and never had anything more than that old green wood burning stove to work with.
We had the best Christmases - we would all come together and celebrate - we'd rotating houses each year. Luther one year, for Grandmom and Granddaddy; Olkmulgee the next for Aunt Zethel and Uncle John Q Thomas. The guys would play dominoes, while the women cooked and set the table. Oklahoma City - to my Aunt Alene and Uncle Major; and Oklahoma City again to our house. There would be house gifts, family gifts and individual gifts - and we kids always got something - loved it - we'd have to unwrap the gifts; say thank you and present our gifts.
Missing those days, especially this time of the year when everyone is scattered so far across the US now.
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The DULANs of Oklahoma –
Top Left: Grandmom & Granddaddy Zady and Silas DULAN
Top Right: Back Row (l-r) My Daddy, Warner DULAN, Sr., Grandaddy Silas DULAN, Grandmom Zady DULAN;
Front Row, L-R, Aunt Zethel DULAN-Thomas, Adolf DULAN, Alene DULAN-Talton,
Mid Left – Grandaddy standing in ront of what's left of the house he and my grandmother, Zady, raised a total of 20 children in Luther, Oklahoma. The house was built by hand by my great grandfather Ben DULAN and his wife Anna (it sat on 86 acres of land; the house had no hot or cold running water or indoor plumbing; as well as no gas or electricity.
Mid Right, My Mom Ruby Love and Dad, Warner DULAN, Sr.
Bottom Right: L-R: My Uncle Adolf, Aunts Zethel and Alene, and Dad Warner DULAN (My Uncle Adolf made his transition in May, 2017 – the last of the family line, leaving the rest of us in charge o the DULAN Legacy). He was the only Millionaire in the family, having started the famed Hamburger City, and later Aunt Kizzie's Back Porch, followed by Adolf Dulan King of Soul Food in the Los Angeles, CA regiion. My cousins are following in his footsteps and continuing the legacy of my Grandmom Zady's Legendary culinary excellence.
My Grandmom Zady was a stickler for speaking proper English - even though I don't think she went further than the 6th grade herself. If you talked "flat," or were grammatically incorrect, you couldn't finish the sentence until you said it correctly. It's a habit that is so instilled in all of us, that when our kids make grammatical errors, if we are all together, we simultaneously stop them and make them say it properly. On a visit to Oklahoma City, my daughter, Kira's son, Handsome Hugh 5, made an error in pronunciation, and all 8 of us who were there, simultaneously corrected him. It was like having all our voices in stero. He was three at the time, and looked around the room and each us, totally shocked and bewildered, and then ran to his mom's arms. WE all started cracking up realizing how much of Granmom Zady was instilled in us!!
Grandmom and Grandaddy put all Granddad's brothers and sisters, as well as their own children through college - Langston University, Oklahoma's only HBCU in Langston, OK. They all went on to excel as teachers, professors, doctors - and in my uncle Adolf's case, entrepreneur.
My dad was the only one not to attend college because of WWII. When the war ended, he immediately went to work, having a family to raise (me and later my sister Brenda) he didn't want to waste time. Daddy was perhaps the biggest stickler of them all for making sure we four got our education, but it was instilled in him and all my relatives by my Grandmom Zady DULAN.
My Grandmother used to come to our house in Oklahoma City laden with home made gifts, or things she had ordered from Sears and Montgomery Ward; then she would then sit quietly, as though in meditation, and maybe only say something once every other hour - like "Hot enough for you?" And we'd respond, "Yes, Grandmommy." Then she'd smile and say "That's nice." and go back into the silence.
She was also a stickler for good manners. You'd have to say "Excuse me; or I beg your pardon," and you never butted into other people's conversations without their permission. I'm still working on that one - lol -
I remember when I first became aware of Astrology, and I was looking up everybody's sun signs, I asked my Grandmom when her birthday was - thinking it would be some quiet reticent sign like a Virgo, Pisces, or something like that. When she told me she was born on December 13, you could have knocked me over with a feather!! I couldn't quite wrap my mind around that one - I had never, ever ever seen a quiet Sagittarius before. I think I even had the audacity to ask her if she was sure - lol - like she wouldn't know her own birthdate (she never would tell me the year though - we still believe that a woman who will tell her age will tell anything, and therefore can't be trusted - oh yes, we are a bougie family - don't let the sod house fool you!)
But the more I learned about the Creek Nation that made up the FIVE CIVILIZED TRIBES OF OKLAHOMA, the more I understand her and how she raised my dad and his siblings. I also remember it took my dad forever to grow a mustache in order to make him look more grown up because, for the most part, Native Americans don't have beards or mustaches.
She definitely believed in spare the rod and spoil the child - and would send you to get a switch in a heart beat. Grandmom Zady didn't tolerate spoiled brats.
Later, when she and Granddaddy were getting up in age, and too old to handle the farming by themselves, they decided to move into Oklahoma City - I remember being highly confused and upset - what was going to happen to the farm? No one would tell me anything at the time - I think I was about 14 or 15 - but I couldn't imagine them living in Oklahoma City - what would they do? How would we get ice cream and fresh butter and the most important thing, who was going to grow the watermelons???
I don't think I ever adjusted to my grandparents no longer living on the farm. They still owned the land, and my Dad, granddad and uncle used to go out there to hunt - they were pretty good at it too. I went on a couple of them myself - I'm not a bad shot either. Learned from the best!
The early pictures I had seen of her and my Granddaddy show that they were a beautiful couple - of course they were both kids. But her love for us, her dedication and devotion, her mild introverted ways are probably the reason I'm not more of a fire breathing Aries than I already am. I am learning to find my quiet place within myself - and when ever I get to the point that I feel that I'm just gonna burst, I remember the still calmness of Grandmoma Zady Dulan.
I know that she, Dad, Granddaddy, Alene, Zethel are all together now - probably enjoying some of that wonderful home cooking of hers.
So Happy Birthday to Grandmom Zady Dulan - your memory and your positive spirit lives on in all of us. From that wonderful old home in Oklahoma, to the inspiration of Aunt Kizzie's that your cooking set in motion, to the whole host of DULANs who have that quiet, enduring spirit and insight that we've all inherited. Thanks for walking with me when I'm challenged, and my creative juices kick in. We all owe you so much.
Love to you from your first born Grandchild, your crazy Aries Granddaughter - Gloria Jeanne
Stay Blessed &
ECLECTICALLY BLACK
Gloria
THIS IS DEDICATED TO THOSE OF THE DULAN FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE OFFSPRINGS OF SILAS AND ZADY DULAN
GRANDCHILDREN: Gloria Jeanne, Brenda Nell, Warner, Jr. Silas Sylvester II, Major LaMont Talton, Gregory, Jeff, Terry, Danielle, Tiffany,
GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN: Kira, Rais, Adiya, LaDonne, Sherrie, SilasIII, Sherlayne, Brennen, Brett, Montie, Brett, Alexis, Kenneth
Great Great Grand Children whose names I can't remember
NOW THAT YOU KNOW
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Stay Blessed &
ECLECTICALLY BLACK
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| Gloria DULAN-Wilson |
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